For t3h Lose

As in the opposite of FTW, as in, a metaphor for my life.

After a few years of wishful thinking and hopeful musing, Theatreg33k & I have finally started our own web-comic. Read it HERE. Hosting thanks to our good techy Epyon Avenger, Story is written dominantly by myself, inspired by true events and further embellished by myself, with constant input from Theatreg33k, AND I finally talked her into drawing it, and so her career as an artist begins . . . . from square one.

So go read it, and please be kind as this is sort of like a garage band thing, were ametures praying for the big leagues, but we do welcome all REAL criticism, "you suck" will be met with "and you need a life" or something equally snarky.

URL is:
http://ftl.chaos-axiom.com/

Enjoy!

San Diego Comic Con 2009 part 1

(There is a room above the fire station on Main Street Disneyland which Walt Disney would stay in all the time. He would keep a light on to let the people in the park know he was there and after his passing they keep the light on all the time now. Thats right)

TEN FUCKING HOURS!!!Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself by about six hours. So, for the fun adventures of how we finally decided to go to SDCC see Theatreg33k . . damn. one of these days I will link the shit outta these posts.

SO! Pievuhg had a weekend pass (she's sleeping with the owner of a local comic shop, regardless of the fact that the owner is currently carrying her husbands child SHUSH!) but T1nk(theatreg33k, yes i know, "holy shit h47!? nicknames for your nicknames?!" shuddup, T1nk is shorter and its another of her personas, AND it's my blog, keep up!) and I only had passes for Fri & Sat, we were gonna drive down Wednesday, and while pievuhg was at the con thurs, T1nk & I would hit the magic kingdom (yes, we're Disney whores and have no shame about it. yes, i know they're an evil ubercorp, but I'll be damned if its not one of the most fun places in the world, get a childhood) *looks around* crap, got ahead of myself again.

Tuesday night (after D&D) I discovered my H47b0x(my computer) decided I could log in but would then log me back out of windows, so, had to get Epyon_Avenger on the case, my digital savior. I packed up for the weekend and attempted to sleep from 1 Am to 5 Am so we could leave at 6 Am. great plan, meanwhile, T1nk stayed up all night packing and such, just gonna sleep the whole way down, which she did. Left bright and early at about 7 am (of course), watched the sun come up as we drove down I-5, the varicose vein of the crack that is the central valley of California. Constantly paranoid and fighting my fatigue-to-hunger-to-"whatwasthatnoise?!wasitthecar?!" syndrome we made a few stops along the way. tried to talk pievuhg into letting us try and sneak her into the MouseLand around Anaheim, but she wouldn't have it. At that point I thought, "oh good, almost there, not much farther" my spacial recollection of the location of Anaheim to San Diego is still skewed. the last 2-3 hours of the drive were painful for me, I had no idea where i was going again, and of course, instead of -continue on I-5, then left on suchandsuch lane- it was, okay merge onto this highway, now this highway, now left, right, right, up, down, select, start, WTF!? apparently our sweet hookup to stay over is atop the only mountain in the basin (t1nk is NOT cool with windy roads, especially if they're atop a fucking cliff) and so TEN FUCKING HOURS after leaving, we had arrived. Got lost shortly thereafter attempting to locate civilization at the bottom of the hill, had chipotle (so fuckin tasty) and found THE EASY WAY back up the hill to our HQ for the weekend. slept like the dead.

T1nk and I woke up at . . . ? 7:30 am? 8? because we were gonna drop Pievuhg off at the con and head north back to Anaheim. Apparently Pievuhg was welcomed with booze the night before and was nursing a hangover and finally at about 9am T1nk and I realized she wasn't leaving with us. BAM, off to Walt's World. Rode rides and all that, forgot my lanyard (yes, t1nk got me hooked on pin trading the trip I proposed to her [blog about that later, I'm sure] but its actually very fun and I have a sixth sense for hidden mickey's, I'm like a boar to truffles. I just think a pin is cool, but when we look closer, there's ears. anyway) but still snagged a slick lanyard weight, AND, we caught the Electrical Parade. that shit was awesome, the intro music is really the best part. It broke down, sat there for 3 mins, and a deisel pull cart rolled up and pulled it along. it was awesome. I want to be an electrical bug, that looks like so much fun.
made it back to HQ without incident, ready to attack Comic Con '09 fast and hard, just like me, OH!

Paranoia & Nicknames

So, If you read more than a few posts here, you will notice I don't use peoples real names anywhere, and more often then not, they're nicknames.
Ever since the wee years of my internet exploits I was aware of the fact that bad things happen when random people have access to your personal info. It has remained a prudent exercise ever since, hence, why my real name is never used here, and anyone who doesn't already have a well established web handle, gets a nickname I feel adequately describes them, or has been pre-approved by them. a few people who will probably re-occur follow:
Theatreg33k, my fiance, she is also an actress, we live together, owns a cat (don't even get me started on that cat), she's currently employed by a major corporation, is a presence in most social networking sites and has her own site which I can't find right now. More about her and our relationship in other posts, trust me.
Epyon_avenger: A good friend of mine out here in the left valley. He is a Tech for a private school, a nerdlinger supreme, and hosts a couple Neverwinter servers. One of the many geeks In my D&D circle, doppleganger to . . .
PievuhG: Origionally just, my co-worker, at the high end weapons shop we work at, soon became a great friend as her geeky flag flew brightly, with a rainbow on it. One of the lesbians Theatreg33k and I have added to our collection (we collect lesbians, i'm sure there will be a post) she's cureently single, and it has been established by all of us that her and Epyon are the same people from different realities, or something to that effect. She used to do Repo, and is a mechanic, soooo dykey, its great.
The Blave: An overacheiver, a bear of a man, a teddy bear that is. He looks like like a viking, very norse pillager, but he's happy and amicable all the time. A theatre/english teacher at a local high school, The Blave is also a constant fixture in our D&D groups. I call him The Blave because he has a penchant for telling outlandish white lies, and more often than not people beleive him. see D.O.S. in any of Theatreg33ks other sites.
I will post other character profiles later, probably name them Nicknames again.

WHATS?! with the blog name?

This is one of my favorite stories. It's long, detailed, and geeky (insert wang joke here). You have been warned.
I have been playing Dungeons & Dragons in all it's incarnations since . . . '97? maybe '98, definitely before 2000, as I started in AD&D. One way our friends would find each other would be to yell "What's a THAC0!?" But, I digress. (watch out, these parenthesis, and tangents things happen a lot.)
With my very fist gaming group, Mjerk, Jjerk, FeetRcold, and a couple others (nicknames are be covered in another blog, don't worry) I rolled a Bard named Ran Dansin. Mjerk, was the DM and this was a Alice in Wonderland-centric game. We ended off in a Battle of wits against the American McGee's version of the Mad Hatter, and through our exploits, my bard acquired a Mad Hatter Hat. This hat was awesome because not only could our gnome walk its brim like a turret(magically, of course) we could dangle him into the hat and had a 65% chance to pull out any mundane item, 23% chance to pull out any uncommon item, 10% chance to pull out any truly rare items, and 2% for anything ridiculously rare, but there had to be more than like 2 of it in the universe.
Fast forward about four years, I begin gaming with The Blave, Epyon_Avenger, Jubbles, and a couple others and The Blave is our DM. I ask if I can resurrect my bard and more importantly his signature hat. The Blave approves, but because he is a stickler for rules and our group was full of power gamers, he "neutered" or more precisely set rules for the hat with random tables. I blindly agreed, thrilled my hat would make it into the game (we started fairly low level and this was effectively a wondrous item) little did I know what horrors this item would visit upon us. The two most common items we pulled out of the Hat were shards of broken glass, which dealt about 1d4 damage to your hands, and really smelly cheese, which would cause -1d4 temporary charisma damage. Mundane annoyances weren't the only things we pulled out of the hat, to The Blave's credit, over the course of a nine month campaign, I pulled out two wee genie's which helped me meet the preq's to be a duelist(these were mostly to accommodate my lack of power building skills and allow me to be more useful in combat) as well as a jackalope named Plot Point who was originally our sorcerer's new familiar, but became this unmitigated ball of dragoon brokenness run by The Blave as his harbinger of doom in his game world. Later, I would pull out a flock of giant, cat sized mosquito's that literally killed me(I have been constantly reminded by The Blave how because I was his favorite character he was constantly smudging damage to keep me alive. great, I was his personal stress ball). As well as lesser jackalopes, males, so that Plot Point could defeat them in single combat and then devour their glands(this was how he leveled) and female jackalopes, so that he could mate with them, defeat them in single combat, and eat their glands, you see the pattern? Apparently this increased his charisma, whatever.
At one point, as I was reaching into the hat, something grabbed me and pulled me into the hat, I was terrified, after all the things I had pulled out, this was not a good idea. Turns out, a giant version of me in another dimension pulled me out of HIS hat. I stood there in shock, and he stared at me for a few seconds, and said, "I wish for a plus two keen, fiery rapier." I replied, "That sounds awesome, but get Vicious and keen if you've got a healer." To which he replied, "No, you're a wee genie and you're gonna grant me a wish, although you look really familiar." Me,"sorry dude, but I have a hat on the other side and you pulled me, I can't grant wishes." Him, "you have a hat too? Isn't it great, wee genies and gold all the time? and a healing jackalope? I pull out the genies all the time!" Me, "really? all I keep pulling out is crap!" He seemed to take pity on me at this point, so he sent me off with a copper piece, which to me was about five feet in diameter, we lugged that thing around till we found a forge to break it down. It was miserable.
Later on, it became a tradition between some of the more screwball members of the group (it fluctuated from he original 5 up to a total of fourteen, technically, over the summer, and everywhere in between) that any new members of the group were greeted with "It's Time for everybody's favorite initiation! WHATS?! IN THE HAT!?!?!?" One of the more memorable initiations was -Brad Again-'s warrior. Not the sharpest shovel in the drawer(yes, I know) he actually managed to pull out a cockatrice, which is an undead chicken that can turn things to stone. Fortunately this warrior was too dumb to be turned to stone, so he pulled it out of the hat, made his fort save and the chicken crowed "bwuahhah!" Me, "what is it?" Jubbles moved his pointer finger through a ring of his other fingers and made a squeaking noise, "his name is herbert." me, " if it wasn't before, it is now." and coincidentally, that's how my rubber chicken got his name. Herbert became the warriors drinking buddy, and one morning after a night of too many ales, the war grabbed the cockatrice and yelled "HOW DID YOU SLEEP CHICKEN!?!?" too which it replied, "KROAWAH!!"
So, there you have it, since the H47 sits on my head, you're reaching your hand right in, be careful, you could get stinky cheese, or hopefully, wee genies.