Latest in H47's Nerd World

So far I am very intrigued by the new Guardians of the Galaxy thanks to this snipet

Get More:
Marvel NOW!, Full Episodes

But I'm STAYING hooked for Rocket Racoon & Groot!!!. My new fave comic bromance!
I'll be honest, I didn't know much about them, so I asked one of my coworkers for the low down. Apparently Groot drops his catchphrase because "sometimes it makes him bigger" SO of course I ask, "so does he just sit in the bathroom going 'groot groot groot grootgrootgroot' ?" We were unable to come up with a reasonable answer.
Great, now I need to put a half ent and a space marmet next to my psychopathic regenerator and my cajun gentlemen pyro thief.
Oh comics, you crazay.

I made some poor choices at the end of a 1 year hiatus D&D campaign. i.e. my characters running away when the sky opened up with demons and I did not realize the crazy sky giant lord and an older copper? bronze? Brass? were apparently hardcore enough to help seal the rift. SO I had to be like "my leyline drood is soooo attuned to the planet I realize there's still a chance and I come back" but I STILL had to leave before the final battle so I'll have to find out later what happened.
(You know it's your character when you start a sentence in the third person and slip into the first)
Otherwise, I threw two adult bronze dragons at my friday group. Managed to drop the caster but the monk and the monsterous barbarian who is "3-5 levels behind" didn't take anything close to "dangerous amounts of damage" and in inadvertent revenge, the caster kept dropping aoes on my kobold army that was put there for flavor, so I had to GM magic rez them so they could get up and begin worshiping the barbarian.
Yes, I know, Metallics are typically good aligned, and these two were, but in our setting morality lines are a lot more grey, PLUS I never said the PARTY was good aligned, did I? It has been a challenge, I assure you.

Also, I know I'm working on a musical because I wake up with the soundtrack playing in my head and it's would be annoying but it helps me remember the choreography so I can judge what needs tweaking.
I'm starting to wonder if working on anything creative inspires you because I wouldn't say it's particularly inspiring, yet, we're working on it, it should be awesome and fun. But I am getting the jones to work on different things and I find it in odd proximity to my newest project.

AND, yes, I am playing Majora's Mask. Because I have a problem. No, I am not playing Bioshock, even though we own it, no I'm not watching Serenity Finally because I watched all of Firefly but for some reason never got around to watching the movie, no I am not transcribing my musical to the word doc like it needs to be, because I have a 64 bit fantasy J-origin PROBLEM!
See yall after 3 days *Wink*

Withdrawals

So, I have not played a game of D&D in almost a month or more and it SUCKS.
I should be back behind a screen or a P.C. sheet within a couple weeks, but UNTIL THEN, and even when I usually get my fix, I love to hear about other groups who have A LOT of fun.
I was debating about whether to do a Meme-Orable for this but decided to against it.

Nerd Poker
Hosted by Brian Posehn, quiet nerdy comedian.
New, fun, mature & alternative, with nothing but notable entertainment geeks. As of the 2nd or 3rd episode they start telling stories from past games, it seems many of them including other L.A. nerds like Patton Oswald & Chris Hardwick

Acquisitions Incorporated
Many adventures from these characters, not to mention no shortage of reference comics in the Penny Arcade Archives. Most Recently The Vault of Winter
Penny Arcade, PVP & Wil Wheaton
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/podcasts.aspx
Oh yeah, and this happens fairly regularly as well . . .


Table Titans!
Headed by Scott Kurtz of PVP (of the above groups), not up yet, but can't wait. apparently in association with Wizards of The Coast. Not sure in what capacity, but cool.
http://tabletitans.com/

Zak & the Porn Crew!
I have mentioned how much I love this blog, not to mention ConstantCon!
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/
and the sadly defunct web series if you want to see what it looks like when you DO have a group full of females (oddly enough, very similar to any other game, go figure).
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/i-hit-it-with-my-axe?page=2

Give them a look over and I'm sorry if you now have some hundred hours to catch up on, it is HILARIOUS!

International Anklebiter Illustrator Day

(Post via: Playing D&D With Porn Stars by Zak Sabbath

I Totally need to find a kid to help me with this. Maybe a High Schooler [and I am constantly made aware that blogger doesn't like me using the word "schooler" in an attempt to get me to learn that I should type "high school student" to which I say "Fuck you blogger! These are my word-letter-slabberings, I will have my way with them as I see fit!"] I know. Seeing as the small children I normally interact with are heathens, but I do have hopes for them as The Firstborn is constantly harassing me during my most intimate of moments [replaying Ocarina of Time on the N64 in my boxers for the nth time] and demanding in her stilted, confidence-lacking stutters that she be able to borrow my copies of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and "The Nightmare Before Christmas." Perhaps there is potential there. Though I am dubious of The Clever one's motives in everything she does as she seems to know too much though she be only 4.)

As is the case with many working artists, people often ask me if I have any words of advice for young people.

I do indeed: get a job.

Our economy is deficient in many fundamental ways and should current trends continue you will be shipped overseas in a melon box to work for a Chinese person long before you reach college age.

Another thing people often ask me is: Can you draw this for me? To which I generally answer: No.

Now it doesn't take an Ivy degree to see we have a classic chocolate-and-peanut-butter situation here.

To wit: I declare and ordain May 29th as International Anklebiter Illustrator Day throughout RPGlandia.

Here is what you must do:

1. Locate a child.

2. Locate two one-dollar bills or the local equivalent.

3. Explain patiently to the child that you--a dungeon master or otherwise appointed administrator of a substantial swath of fictional space--are desirous of illustrations.

4. Explain to the child that you are contracting him or her to provide such imagery at a page rate of 1 dollar per page. (Which believe you me is a sum infinitely greater than many web and print publications currently offer for such services.)

5. Explain to the child that the deadline is May 28th, thus allowing you, the client, at least one day to scan and upload the drawing to the internet.

Note that this may require you explaining to the child the definition of the word "deadline" as well adumbrating the process by which days accumulate into months and that these accumulated months are then packaged and named for ease of public consumption. I trust that you are up to the task and that they are probably too young for any of this information to strike them as being as traumatic as it actually is.

6. After acquiring their informed consent, give them the specific assignments:

The first drawing can be anything you, the GM, want--you can take a crappy town you drew and ask the child to redraw it better, you can describe a treasure the child needs to create and detail, you can have the child make a dungeon map of their own design. It is none of my concern so long as it fulfills a need in your campaign.

The second drawing, however, must be a displacer beast. This is because I have grown jaded and strange over the long years and so have you and it will entertain both of us mightily to see children's interpretations of the catlike and inimitable displacer beast erupt all over the internet come May 29.

Tell them color is preferable and may get them an extra 25 cents to spend in any way they please. Glitter, construction paper, play-doh or digital media are also acceptable.

7. Now we all know freelancers are chronic whiners without respect for authority. If the child tries to pass substandard work off on you, print out the following drawings and shake them in the child's face menacingly, saying "ONE OF THESE CHILDREN WAS TEN AND THE OTHER WAS ELEVEN!

CHRIS AUMAN DREW THIS IN A CAVE WHEN HE WAS 12 WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!

...IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE MORE LIKE THEY ARE! PICK UP THAT SPARKLETUBE AND GET CRACKING, TOAD! YOUR DROPPED CHEERIOS ARE OF NO INTEREST TO ME, WE DO NOT DO EXCUSES HERE!"

8. Upload such work as is produced onto the internet on May 29th. Inform me of the url by the usual channels or via rapid Clown-O-Gram. No hobo clowns.

9. If, in the interim, you have seen fit to employ the child further on campaign work since the initial work order, please upload any and all projects fulfilled to date on the 29th.

10. Older children or those possessed of extraordinary skill may be employed at a higher rate if you see fit--though not too much higher. You must not create the hope in their minds that they, as freelance creatives, can expect to work under any but the most animalistic conditions. Conversely, if the child is exceptionally poor or uneducated, you may be able to get them to work for only a nickel.

11. You have my permission to republish this message on your own blog. In fact, if you intend to participate or would like others to do so, I encourage it.

If you're extremely clever, you might be able to get them to draw you a whole planet and then wrap it around a globe digitally like so.

And What Did We Learn?

The Holiday season brought me many gift cards. I know some people find them tacky or lacking thought but I honestly love them no matter who gives them to me. Much like cash, I KNOW I have crazy weird tastes compared to the rest of the people who usually get me gifts, this way I can go find those things from those odd little nooks of the universe (my store) where these items can be found. Plus, if the items are a little MORE than what my gifters were looking to spend, BOO YA! discount for me and I think of them in conjunction with the item. Woohoo tangents!

Anyway, gift cards for places that peddle print! I bought me some Star Wars Karen Traviss "Oya Mando'a!" and some Pathfinder Tales F-yeah free feats! But I ALSO saw an intriguing title:
"Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Dungeons & Dragons: One Woman's Quest to Turn Self-Help Into Elf-Help"
Then when I picked up the book to investigate further I saw the Author was in fact one female name and that Wizards published it. Two out of three aint bad. Honestly though, I only have as much beef with Wiz as I do with Disney. I could list many things that make them evil Uber-Corp's but really, I love their products and continue to pray for those on the inside who help create those wonders we all enjoy (and, I hear there's some noteworthy input for 5E).
So I said "why not, its 'free' " and began pouring through it.

As I mentioned in my last review of a Mazzanoble title, there are quite a few anecdotes and much to learn about the "normalcy" of the author and her mother, the books antagonist?, apparently her mom even has a fan page.
This book is much more of a non-fiction, "read it cause you like to keep reading anything" sort of book. I'll be honest and say I did not enjoy it all that much, BUT, as I mentioned in the last review, I don't think I was the audience it's intended for and think my fiancee will really enjoy it. This is not to say that it was not an excellent book. It has great pacing, constant story telling of how the game relates to her life and fun little sidebars all throughout that help others find a little D&D in your own RL. So, worth a read if you come across it or have already finished a bunch of other books or are waiting for another installment of something to come out. I especially recommend it if you enjoy watching hoarders, buying "dummies guide" books or are maybe newer to nerdlife, I think you might enjoy this read. I know I'll be lending/ recommending it to many of my friends.

Part Time Opinions

Impressions of "A Part Time Sorceress" . . .

The Cover. A lot of pink . . . I suppose not TOO much though.

I read this book second, and how I came to seek it out will be outlined further in another post, probably my next regular update, as I intend to review her second book as well.
After finishing reading this book, the only things I really learned were more about the living habits of  modern semi-feminist/girly girls from the East Coast, their mothers proclivities, how they put upon their significant others, and the social circles they cultivate. As for what I would consider the "meat" of the book, it was comprised things I already know, surrounded by anecdotes and tips on how a "normal" female can get into D&D. I was happy that it was a very fast read and was able to finish it before I got to a point where it might have become totally unreadable.

 

 

 

The Author with someone whom I believe is one of her co-workers.

Having said all that, I highly recommend this book . . . to almost any female who doesn't read this blog, or understand any of the posts with "RPG" or "Table top" in the tags. Then again, my fiancee has been with me for almost a decade, played in a few campaigns, including different systems (not just Wizards D&D) and I think she will enjoy this book immensely. Also, I would probably still recommend it to any lady gamer I know who isn't exactly like me (that's a terrifying thought, what a slutty lesbian that would be). I am constantly trying to understand the opposite sex, ESPECIALLY the gamer/geek type as I will be the first to admit there are disparate misconceptions across the genders, and I'm not sure why, but I think this book would speak to many femme fraggers. More simply put, I don't think it was a bad book, on the contrary I would even say it was good and worth a read. It's just that I could barely stand it. Don't understand how those two statements can be true? I think you might be on the wrong blog, OR ask me for my review of the Watchmen movie some time.

Then again, I'm confident there are some ladies out there who agree with my more snarky side and see this as yet another brick in the marketing wall from Wizards that is an attempt to make D&D accessible to everyone from "bros" to housewives regardless if it maintains it's soul (whatever that is) as a game. I don't want to get into my feelings on 4.0, or any "x.0 vs -whateva system" at this time, but it does feel like they tie in to each other when you come from that perspective. Maybe I'm just a bitter gaming-conspiracy theorists but, I thnk most people might understand where I'm coming from on that one.

So yeah, get the book if you know girls, it might help. And since I usually throw a vid in somewhere, try THIS ONE > > > >

A Different 2.0

Damsels & Dragons II: Femmes Seek Funds!

Cleric, Rogue and left hip of Stone Golem . . . With Sai!?!

I know I like to give the fairer sex money if it means I get to watch, there are costumes involved, and they are very talented at what they do. I've mentioned this crew before and bemoaned the apparent drop in activity. Thanks to The Mary Sue I heard about a renewed effort to activate the shelved series.

Circulate them fun things kids! And peep the vid on my old post (click "before"), it's still the one I laugh at most. And there aren't many other vids online that aren't the episodes themselves. Gogo!

Choir is NOT Lame

I don't know if this will do anything for anyone's opinion, but I am huge fan of Bards and would admit approx half of my characters (a solid dozen total since '04)had a splash of Bard if not full progression.
I do agree that Bards, ESPECIALLY 3.0/3.5, are notorious for their terribleness. However, I am a huge proponent of the storyteller/chronicler archetype. As an adventurer or "princess saving bloke" they are not intended to fill main roles BUT, I would like to give a shout out to Paizo up on Pathfinder for re-working the class into something that doesn't totally suck.
If you care, I like THIS for new rule set & mechanics ANDDDD THIS GUY for an excellent build reference that gears a bard build towards 4th party member in a 4 person party.

As far as singing or playing the lute or even storytelling (as I've utilized it in my most recent builds) as a skill set for adventuring? That's not the mindset I've taken over the last decade. To me, and I would argue other "bard enthusiasts" agree, a bard is a party member who can combat, cast or know stuff just as well as anyone else in the group, BUT can also inspire his fellows and belittle his foes with great ease.
I would argue, it's sort of like a High School English teacher with a History Minor. It's not a necessary aspect of the beast, but it can definitely lend insight and inspiration that would not otherwise come into affect.

In a less metaphory example, I have built, and seen bards built, into things that can outcast equiv level wizards and out melee equiv level fighters. Honestly. Some of us like our PVP. No not as far as firepower per spell, nor as blow to blow, BUT, when executed correctly, winning wizards duels and mortal combats(every now and then our group gets really into arena type encounters).

Ran Dansin XIX, Thorin & Shingen. And GUESS WHO RUNS THE PARTY

Hope it wasn't too much of a ramble, but there's my bit.

A Tale of Two Burritozilla's

How does your gaming crew end a campaign? Ours does it with booze, Epic Meal Time homage's, Huge Fuckin' Blades & Huge Fuckin' Burritos.

Birth is a beautiful, yet terrifying thing.

"Oh nos! We just fought a dragon shaman who may or may not have been epic level and NOW there's a size category HUGE green dragon barreling down on us as we sit like hors d'oeuvres on a plate on top of a temple." No, bitch! My group says BRING IT!!1! We're eating 17' death rolls of Mexican goodness then pouring poison into our gullet holes while we FUCK THAT DRAGON! No shit, the dwarf just made a grapple check, now he's rolling to control the pin.

"Let's go to Work."

Before we get (yes, I'm going to say it) ROLLIN' we have to divy up this mass of meat, beans, rice, awesome, sauce & tortilla so that all may partake of the madness. "But h4773r? Are you gonna use one of those little Bitch Kitchen knives? That would take forever." FUCK NO! I use Aniki, the beast from the far east, the edge from the edge of the world, my Kanetsune.

Luh-Ike! BUHTTUH! I came a little. I wont lie about that. And yes, that is a wooden battle board with scorch marks for the grid. Ti Slut did that up nice just for our group.

"But where will you cut it? That's not your table and you don't want to get 'zilla juices all over the floor? Are you going to go outside?" FUCK NO! This is D&D right? We use the fucking metal-ass battle board to slice these vessels of sustenance, then we use it for tactical visualization, like a Boss.

Aniki, Drippin', not ready to take his tip out of the battle board. Burritozilla, divided. Was it good for you?

And so, as the sounds of gnashing nerds and guzzling geeks echo against the walls of our dining area, shit is being bulled. My compatriots enjoy their last moments as living characters before I destroy them with emerald, winged, acid breathing death. On film, for your consideration.

Perhaps the camera man (RunningRyan) and myself will make a transcript and post it so you can hear my witty ass remarks. Probably not though, as you should just watch it 3 times like I did.
And guess what? We did it again last week, only it got crazyer, with more video, and hopefully better quality. Tune in!

Gygax is Rolling in His Grave

And I think he just Crit!
A short but poignant post today. As you may or may not recall, back in March of '08 The Great Gary passed on to a different plane. Even three years later his memory lives on and his family and some of their closest friends and MANY nerds still wish to have a concrete memorial somewhere on our Earth.
Check out the site and the proposed memorial and even throw some cash that way if you wish.
http://www.gygaxmemorialfund.com/

AND, so there's a bit of my brain in this post as well as a nod to this great institution, I'll use an old favorite to hopefully give me a quick & fun post . . . .

(Yup, those are my new Precise Dice, I use them when I'm GMing so less chance my players will gripe. WTF are science/precise dice you might ask? Dig around HERE for an answer)

8! Describe your local area, gamerwise--is their a local game store? Where do your players come from? Do you want more players? Are they your friends? If you play with strangers, who are these people? Where do they come from?

Ooh, a tuffy. Actually, I take that back. I am lucky in some ways that I live in a major metropolitan area that is unequivocally nerdy, Silicon Valley.
There are MANY local game shops, at least half a dozen I am aware of all within a half hour or so of each other, whether they be comic or hobby shops at their core, they are definitely Gamer-friendly.
The players come from everywhere. Jr. High, High School, College, corporate sector, entertainment & service industry.
As for more players, no, I am good. I wish for more time to play with all my players but as most of you who know me personally have more than likely heard me gripe about my inability to tell players, old & new, "no" to joining my gaming group.
They are all my friends and I am responsible for the majority of my current players coming into RPG's. I have played with RPG vets and stranger noobs when I worked at a comic shop for a while, they came for a set, consistent game.
Currently my two groups are all friends and/or co-workers due to large nerdy social circles and a workplace with some VERY interesting perks.

Overall, to anyone who's looking for a game who might be new to the genre or just moved out here, don't sweat, there is a game for everyone out here, we be some of the nerdiest areas on earth, I'd wager. Just keep looking.

Ladies Playing Pretend

Who doesn't like it when a bunch of lovely women get dressed up and then start make believe. . . That they're warriors, clerics, and monsters?

Continuing on my RPG webseries kick, I also finally watched Dragons & Damsels. With Mirai Booth-Ong from The Guild (I may or may not do a post about that as it has a bit more popularity then a lot of the stuff I post about, I think you all know what it is).

My quick, snarky, over-simplified impression was, like many girls I like, short, pretty, something deep about them, but unfortunately leave me frustrated in ways I can't fix.

To elaborate, I think the short part is obvious, it is very well produced, as in the camera work is fine, the audio is excellent, and I believed these characters lived in this world, they seemed to have lives and desires and dreams.

I liked how there were plots that were alluded to and there was set idea of how the game went, all that sort of thing.

However, the first story arc finished after eight short episodes and no one besides bots have posted anything on the site or the forum since '09. It feels like they had intended to do quite a bit further with the world but have left it or are unable to continue it for whatever reason. If there had been anything on the site to suggest that that was it and the project was finished I might feel a bit more closure, but as it is, my neuroses is agitated by such frivolous things, ah well.

If they do decide to clean up the forum and perhaps begin a new story arc I hope I will be able to find it or see it advertised as it was fun and think it has quite a lot of potential.

1 part fem, 1 part drake, mix vigorously!

P.S. Apparently back in 2010 a few of the ladies filmed character Vlogs for their youtube channel, and although I liked the thief & the cleric, this one was the one that actually made me laugh.

Finding a Path Through Third and a Half

Aright table top nerds, here's how I break it down.

I have played version 3.5 D&D for about six years now, fairly familiar with the system, I can make all sorts of builds and my group(s) and I can come up with mechanics for most issues we encounter.

Recently, some players in my group started using/buying Pathfinder. The words "Three point seven-five" were muttered constantly and once two members of the group purchased books and the D.M. downloaded the pdf's we actually played a couple campaigns. I have since broken down and purchased the Core and the APG and done massive builds due to a high power one shot we had two months to prep for.

Verdict:
If you can, or want to, buy Pathfinder. I wont lie, its shiny, new and sexy, BUT, it does address a lot of mechanic/customizable options and makes the super-customizable 3.5 into a massive awesomeness.
If money is tight or you have ALL the books for 3.5 already, no pressure to switch.
However, if one person buys the Pathfinder books, you are SCREWED if a second person buys the books.

3.5 is the original, and has "the real system" but Pathfinder was originally intended to be a massive supplement to 3.5, or at least that was the impression I got from reading some of opening notes, and it turned into this massive project.


Fun fact, Pathfinder taught me that Vash The Stampede

& Alucard
exist in D&D, eh?