A Different 2.0

Damsels & Dragons II: Femmes Seek Funds!

Cleric, Rogue and left hip of Stone Golem . . . With Sai!?!

I know I like to give the fairer sex money if it means I get to watch, there are costumes involved, and they are very talented at what they do. I've mentioned this crew before and bemoaned the apparent drop in activity. Thanks to The Mary Sue I heard about a renewed effort to activate the shelved series.

Circulate them fun things kids! And peep the vid on my old post (click "before"), it's still the one I laugh at most. And there aren't many other vids online that aren't the episodes themselves. Gogo!

Where U at, h47?

And what's with all the "urban" style post titles? Well, they're quick and I feel they accurately portray the hectic lifestyle I have come across the last three weeks. Worry not H47ites, I am working on a fore-log of my usual droll and drivel to keep this site chok full of the usual vitriol and fan-fawning we've come accustomed to.
Now, why have my post suddenly gone more erratic than usual and not even weekly as has been in the past? well, I will tell you.

After working retail during holidays, which is a pain, anyone who's done it can tell you, I spent a week in So-Cal getting schooled in the myriad of ways of simulated violence for stage & screen, as my previous post informed.
Then, when I got home, I was greeted by a disgruntled cat who had apparently grown rather fond of me and acted out in protest to my absence by peeing everywhere. In between returning to work and a trip to the vet, several cleaning bouts were needed immediately.
With no rest for the wicked, last night, AFTER Theatreg33k/t1nk's callback for Sylvia,

we drove over the hill to a Lords of Ancient Sin meet up hosted by my "brother from another mother" Moose, which included a lovely dinner and blatant sexual advances from and to anyone and everyone who wished to utter "your mom."

I am currently suffereing from D&D withdrawals but I should be able to remedy that tonight as my regularly scheduled table top gaming should resume this week. As should our normal schedule of posts beginning next Tues, as well as a 3rd 4 t3h Nrrd for Jan. and I will do my best to include something else Nerdy & musical to make up for a lack of Nerdcore from last month. I have plenty stewing in my drafts, I merely need to distill them for presentation. I hope you can contain yourselves until then. Thank you all again for your patience and understanding . . . and if not, well, go away then.

3rd 4 t3h NRRD: Nov. '11

Way back at the beginning of this blog, over two years ago, I did a post about Optimus Rhyme which would begin what I now call 3rd 4 t3h NRRD. In the comments below that post I typed up a short follow up mentioning - Supercommuter.
Well here we are again.


Two albums deep, Childs Play proceeds gig with Penny Arcade and a solid track on Nerdcore Now means these cats are steady and strong. You can check them out All Over The Internets, except, strangely Wikipedia. Can someone please take a few to make a worth-while page for them. Apparently the last one was deleted for "lack of relevance" or something like that. They have a link and are referenced on the Opt. Rhyme page, but then you get the deleted page.


Why should you listen to them/buy their albums? Duh. I know a lot of nerds who love some clean chip-tune/chip-hop work, so you get that. I have covered how AWESOME Wheelie's vocals are before, see the link above, I can't put enough of his vocals in my earhole. All of that combined makes for silly-good tracks, and the added vibe that the bulk of them were written & composed during the actual COMMUTE up in WA makes it even more fun.
So, click through those links, find that playlist up on youtube and get chipped off these beats & rhymes. I wanna hear those beeps, boops, thumps & spits out on the asphalt while I'm stuck in that gridlock!

The dungeon master & webseries.

The Golem, I think. (off their Myspace)

As I mentioned last week I had the good fortune of participating in a cool event at Strategicon Gateway called The Dungeon Master. It is a performance group that does live theatre where audience members are pulled up on stage to form the adventuring party that may or may not complete the quest presented to them for that show.

Although the version I played in was a low rent/on the road/woo-this-space-allows-for-nothing sort of set up, the costumes they brought were excellent, the tech aspect served it's purpose and coming from a theatre background myself I applaud the final result, I would not dare to claim I could have done better under the same circumstances. And as far as content, the story, characters, and gags were all, at worst, amusing. Many of the jokes were clever and fun with many obvious nods to RPG and geek tropes, creating an overall sense that yes, you had played this campaign before and that was half the fun of it.

I never realized I need to buy a welding jacket for T1nk, it's kind of a good look for her. (Ty Rayne 4 pic)

Running for over a decade now this crew has been living nerdy and providing art and culture to southern California. Not content with ten years of longevity on stage they have also branched out by starting a web series.

Of the four episodes of Legends of Atoll there is a lot of fun. I'm not sure exactly how intertwined the two shows are as far as production but they are both chock full of the same humor, charm, and love of the genre.

 In having many friends who are also in the entertainment industry I usually give my honest opinions and critiques, and although it appears both products could use improvement and tweaking, I highly recommend this to all nerds. Question about your character? Ask, The Dungeon Master

Game-con-on

This weekend M'Lady & I will be in SoCal attending Strategicon's Gateway gaming convention. She will be helping keep the con looking good with the D20 Girls and I will be riding along for shiggles.
Although I don't normally attend gaming cons I do hope to change that. I'm looking forward to trying some different systems. My coworker "RunningRyan" recommended I try Arkham Horror, as I've never actually played it and maybe even put my acting chops to good use in a LARP, as there seems to be a cool Eberron session set on the lightning rail and of course a steampunk game also.

To add some vaguely relevant personal insight to this post I might discuss the new Campaign that just started with Eric the Blave as DM.

As a flavor/powering component he has had us roll up lvl 1 NPC class characters, and then when we level we will take the first level of a core class. However, instead of having us play a short prologue like he has done once previously, we rolled straight into the first session of the game.

It has been interesting so far, I like the idea in general as a neat quirk but even up against po-dunk peasants it was a challenge.

I don't mind low powered survival scenarios and if I know that's the kind of game we're going into I know to enjoy it. However, I don't know why I never learn with this DM, I expected something more epic, initially.

So, the idea is that magic is returning to the world after thousands of years and our characters are inheritors of this concept (i.e. sorcerers are unheard of, there is no "live" pantheon, everyone worships the elements, but we are the rare few to bring about change in the world). Being that our group would be (after our first "real" level) fairly unique and definitely more powerful than the average citizen of the world I anticipated some fun derring-do our first session.

I was wrong, as I so often am in Eric's games. Brad_again(rejoining our group once more after a 3+ year hiatus) and I would joke about making a kill order list of every named NPC we met and general taking a KoS view of the world if anyone was a jerk or TOO helpful. The joking was about 60% joke and 40% serious as intelligent, articulate, polite and EVIL JERKS seem to infest The Blave's worlds.

Although, even with a mob of peasants vs 3 level 1 npc's I am learning the power of a reliable strength score as well as controller characters. Even as an expert, which gets no BAB, built to level into bard, I was able to make excellent use of trips and grapples.
As much as I want to gripe, perhaps I will have enough time to see how effective I can be "dual wielding" a quarterstaff with a -2/-4 attack. For some inexplicable reason I seem to be terribly adept when my characters have absolutely no business doing a certain thing, and then does them. (My full progression Wizard who had a Bastard Sword for looks and ended up one shoting a peasant and some utiugs on separate occasions.)

Play Time

I mentioned on my twitter recently that if I got over a hundred followers AND it looked like they weren't all bots, AND that I would stay over 100, that I might, conceivably, post something unique for the occasion.

SO, here I present a present for the present, a tedious brief One Act I wrote for one of my classes that has actually had a couple performances outside of class.
Not only do I post it here for you all to read and gaze in mirth at how clever I am, but, If you so wish, take it and perform it yourself, should you be so inclined. If you know me IRL I would love for you to contact me to help and translate and "co-direct" in a manner of speaking. Or even if we are far afield of each other, feel free to contact me and ask about any difficulties you might have with the script.

I also realize I mention certain things and suggest certain music that I do not have the rights too. So, I give this as an open source sort of piece and should you modify it for profit, please inform me should you project to make, or actually make, over $500 gross profits, as I would like some compensation.

And, Without further frippery, I give you, a part of my stage brain . . .

F.T.W.

Tony Elfson

SCENE 1

We see a dark room. Only the glow of screens illuminate the handful of figures. The glow are from a television, a couple laptops and hand held devices. There appears to be a table the figures are assembled around.

MC Frontalot's “Shame of the Otaku” plays through the darkness. As the song finishes we hear one of the figures speak.

KAWAI: This world has walls, a ceiling.
Outside, cars drive by.
The sunlight roasts my flesh.
Even a bird who chases a rainbow
finds itself blindsided by a plane.

This world has walls, a ceiling.
With the glow of our LCD screens,
we greet the morning.
IRL, lacking the sun,
we have no need for the sky

She repeats it once and says “Thank you” at the end.

The lights are flicked on by SHAYNA and we can see the table. Table top RPG books and other geek paraphernalia litter the tableau.

The D.M., a soft spoken pillar of geekery, sits at the head of the table. KAWAI, a cute lil thing, is an anime geek. MEME, loud and obnoxious, only speaks in Internet phenomena. GLENN, unassuming but clever. SHAYNA, not mean but definitely gets to the point.

GLENN: Heh. Thanks for the translation. I still like Front's Secrets From the Future better.

SHAYNA: wuthefug are you guys sitting the dark? I cant see the battle grid. Damn. D.M., where were we?

MEME: It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue.

D.M.: Actually, yes Meme. The group has ascended into the cavern and there are no sources of light, other than Kawai's wizards staff. (he motions to her)

KAWAI: Hikari! Light. What do we see?

D.M.: You see a long hallway stretching off into the darkness, there are doors lining it . . .

MEME: Its a trap!

SHAYNA: Good idea. Glenn, you take second in marching order so Meme can search for traps.

D.M.: Alright, Meme, roll search.

GLENN: Hey Kawai, can I talk to you for a sec? Um. Help me in the kitchen? I can never find the cheetos.

KAWAI: Hai! We get root beer Bawls too.

The two get up and head out of the room.

SCENE 2

Optimus Rhyme's “Anxiety” plays for about a minute. KAWAI sits on counter eating cheetos, swinging legs back and forth. GLENN paces with an energy drink in his hand.

GLENN: You and D.M. Have been together for a while now? How did you guys start?

KAWAI: Hee hee. He was cosplaying as Ichiro from Magical Love Gentleman and I was Ginja, the magical cat/rabbit princess, so I followed him around as part of his outfit and we've been together ever since.

GLENN: Okay . . then how do you think I should ask Shayna out? Or should I? Sometimes she can be.

KAWAI: Gomennasai. Honestly, Glenn, I wouldn't worry about it. I have faith in you. You will find a good time and I think she will say yes.

GLENN: Thanks. We should probably get back in there. How many times do you think Meme tripped the traps?

KAWAI: (Hopping off counter) No. The question is how many times did Shayna actually rez him?

SCENE 3

MC RSI's “Gamer's ParaDice” plays as the group reassembles in the gaming room.

Same as end of scene 1.

SHAYNA: Looks like we found that Warlord's Lair. Get in here Glenn, we need our frontliner.

GLENN: I thought Meme was gonna tank this one? Mr. I-do-6d6-damage? Eh?

MEME: (looks up bewildered) Do not want!

D.M.: The room appears empty, but you notice that the coals in the hearth are still warm and several other cues have you believe he may be back soon.

KAWAI: Quickly guy's we can ambush him! I extinguish my light spell.

SHAYNA: Not all of us have darkvision. I pull out my sunrod.

GLENN: But our two big damage dealers do, Kawai & Meme. I douse Shayna's sunrod.

KAWAI: No, she has a point, you need to be his first target. Hikari!

D.M.: Kawai's light spell comes back on.

MEME: No, The Cheat! We had that light switch installed so you could turn the light on, and off. Not so you could throw light switch raves.

GLENN: Alright then. Let me think.

MEME: (rolls some dice) GAY! (throws a die into a corner in disgust) Who responsible this?

SHAYNA: (leans over) Here let me do a search check. 27! What do I find.

D.M.: You notice there is a section of the wall that is actually made of cloth and plaster, not stone. You open it and see a large pulsating gem. It does not appear to be attached to anything. Do you pick it up?

GLENN: Just in case, I close the door to the room and keep an ear to it.

D.M.: okay, make 2 listen checks for me. Shayna?

SHAYNA: I pick it up and examine it. I make a spellcraft check . . . 31! HA!

GLENN: 17 & 22

D.M.: On 17 you hear rustling from down the hallway . .

GLENN: I crack the door open and look out . .

D.M.: Oh, Shayna, with that check, you KNOW that this is a spirit vessel, and that if it is destroyed, The Warlord will perish.

KAWAI: Knowledge Arcana, 33! How do we break it?

D.M: Glenn, when you crack the door open all you see is darkness, but you hear heavy breathing and the sound of a man in armor coming down the hallway.

MEME: LEEE ROOYY!!

GLENN: No, Meme. Wait!

MEME: I attack the darkness!

SHAYNA: Wait! Kawai, how?

D.M.: The ancient legends you've studied say that the “ Lord of War's heart of stone” can only be broken by “the first of four.” From what you remember, “The first of four” is a young warrior who travels with an elven sorceress, a gnome thief, and a cleric of the amazon goddess. “The first, need only strike the heart, to slay the Lord of War”

KAWAI: Glenn! Hit the gem!

GLENN: What?

MEME: FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

KAWAI: I tell the rest of the group!

D.M.: As you explain that info . .

SHAYNA: as she explains I put the gem on the far table form the door and move Glenn to it.

GLENN: I move as she grabs me.

D.M.: You hear a voice from the doorway, “You have found my sanctum! I'm surprised you made it this far. But, after all we've been through together, this game of cat and mice . I'm . . .

MEME: Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around and DESERT YOU!!!

SHAYNA, GLENN, KAWAI: Shut up Meme!

D.M.: I'm going to crush you all!”

GLENN: Did Kawai finish explaining it?

D.M.: um, yes.

GLENN: I attack the gem.

D.M.: Glenn, make an attack roll against 12 and tell me damage, everyone make Fortitude saves as well.

GLENN: Crit, 42 damage! Fort save, 19

SHAYNA: 10

KAWAI: 21

MEME: OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!

SHAYNA: He got a natural twenty.

D.M.: Shayna: you take 62 damage, everyone else takes 31, and Glenn, as you feel the blade strike the gem, it feels as if you are striking through a hard, viscous goo, but you manage to slide your edge through all the way to the table. As you do you are greeted with a disgusting smell of rotting flesh and burning bones. You all hear a violent scream of rage form The Warlord as you are all suddenly swept over by a wave of purple-black necrotic energy. If I'm correct, your all unconscious, except Glenn? (Everyone nods) Glenn, you see The Warlord drop and wither away as his skin and bones turn to dust, only his armor, clothes and weapons remain.

The group is all grins, the girls jump up and hug. The next two lines happen at once)

MEME: Two girls one cup!

GLENN: I jump over to Shayna and force a vial of Cure serious into her mouth!

Kawai jumps back from Meme as if he had the plague and Shayna gives him a look that could melt iron.

D.M.: She's conscious. And I assume the two of you heal the others.

SHAYNA: Not Meme.

MEME: Blizz, why no love for rouge?

GLENN: I'll get him.

D.M.: Gratz, you have successfully defeated The Warlord, and thats the end of my Campaign (he holds up a book with a picture on it)

MEME: (points at the picture triumphantly) “THE GAME! BITCH! YOU LOSTED IT!”

SHAYNA: Sweet, I'm starving, lets get grub.

MEME: I can haz . . .

D.M.: Meme?

GLENN: Actually Shayna, I was thinking R.J.'s.

SHAYNA: Cool, (to the rest) you guys cool with that?

MEME: The cake . . (Kawai kicks Meme under the table or perhaps withering look) iiis, a lie!Uh, The Internet is for Porn. (Meme then gets up and leaves)

KAWAI: Yeah, you guys go ahead, D.M. And I have to get to work on our Costumes for SGISCon. Is it okay if Glenn, gets you home instead?

Glenn nods furiously behind Shayna

SHAYNA: I guess so. (She turns around, he splits into a grin just in time) Split a desert?

D.M. Woo, look at my wrist! Come on, Kawai, lets go! (he grabs his laptop and his girl and leaves)

KAWAI: (as she's beeing dragged) Ja-ne!

GLENN: Actually. My treat?

SHAYNA: Sure, on one condition?

GLENN: Yeah?

SHAYNA: After dinner . . we go back to your place . .. and I kick your butt at Back Ally Brawl 5!

Glenn just grins widely as Doctor Awkward's “LAN Party” plays.

End

Terrikahnia: Part 1

That is the name of the world I am currently running two concurrent Pathfinder games in. The main continent/human kingdom is called Greethelude, and has a late medieval/EARLY Renaissance (read: less than 12 NPC's over level 15 core classes). The adventures sort of top out at level 10 or so, but could be easily scaled up or down. For higher powered games I would lead the groups to different areas that I have not fully developed.

Its origins are actually from a failed forum RPG some acquaintances I met in high school attempted to start, called "Hellsent." Then later, as I fleshed out the world and recycled the original setting & plot I now borrow HEAVILY from one of my current WoW Guilds, "Lords of Ancient Sin" on Cenarius. Characters and characteristics of players have been translated to the universe for NPC's, and even some of the back story.

In Pathfinder the Cavalier is usually linked to an order, and one of my players chose the "Dragon" order in the book. For flavor, I reworked it for my universe and dubbed it "The Order of Schorl's Heart."

"Upon entering the Order you are granted the "Heart of Schorl" medallion.

Schorl was a female half elf Paladin who was the love of King Shakoo. Though they we're torn apart by scandal, Schorl continued to serve the kingdom and maintained her status as a beacon of light, protection and forgiveness to all.

The only order to openly recruit all genders, Men in the order are called "Consorts of Schorl" while Women are called "Schorl's Gaurd"

Derogatory terms for the men are "Schorl's Eunichs" and for the females they are either "Schorl's Busoms" or . . . "Consorts of Schorl"

King Grimmean Rules from the Northern city named Loas Keep. Generally he is a just and even headed king, though not a weakling, he did study magic more than the blade in his younger days and is still known to dabble when the restraints of court allow. Soledad "the Bear" or "Grimms Right Hand" is a well known Paladin, of the "Order of the Hammer & Shield," is a fierce protector of the kingdom and is a sight to behold. There are some unsavory rumors that "The Bear" and his Highness are more than just good friends but any mention of it in court has been met with swift disdain and lack of any solid evidence quells the conversation quickly, the offending party often falls out of everyone's favor.

A weeks ride to the south of Loas Keep brings you to Shakoo Ridge, the old capitol, and the first city of the Kingdom. Established as the "frontier fortress" as King Shakoo pushed his dominion into the north, It has become a dingy trading city where every sort of riffraff an be found. Ruled by a Duke openly, there seems to be an unofficial ruling body in the city known as "The Knaves." The thieves guild, the mysterious leader is referred to only as "Sirrah," recently they have had serious issues controlling the underbelly of the city figuratively and literally as another force has pushed them to the safety of their hold outs, the main of which is often heard referred to as "Home." To some of the more skilled and high profile "knaves" in the city, a person who goes by "M", who has sometimes signed certain correspondence as "MNBF" is said to be a shadow manifested to serve the will of Sirrah. He is often a contact and offers various jobs, contracts and orders. Never has he said it is the order of Sirrah, nor has he admitted to being a Knave to others, most can assume there is a close connection.

Another point of interest is the Temple of Tyr. Run by dark skinned clerics, it is known for it's laid back nature and it's strange acceptance of bards at all hours in its main hall of worship. The head Centurion is named Tyrone, and the High Priest is Klashaft Ngaulikahn, who goes by "shaft" for short.

One of the seedier taverns in town is called the Sickly Dragon, it has a fairly descriptive sign out front, and is known for its ability to be back to . . not clean, but normal, after almost any altercation form the night/morning before.

The Nightman, or the Captain of the city constabulary is a middle aged man who has not gone soft in the middle named Emilius Nolan Bartholomew Finch, and ensures that even though the Knaves run rampant through the city that citizens stay as safe as possible in such a city. And even though you may get your purse cut, your neck shouldn't, unless of course, you ran afoul of someone, in which case, accidents do happen. The recent shift in power has not let him sleep easy during the day, he's said to sleep almost from when he goes home to when his shift starts the next eve.

I'm not entirely sure If or when I post a part 2, but, if any of my players wish to take a test on any of this content I will possibly grant them some sort of boon, like XP, a feat. skill points in knowledge(not sure), or cool items.

A Queue From Porn

I have mentioned Playing D&D With Porn Stars before and was kinda waffling on what to post about, but thankfully the half-bald-bad-ass, Zak, gave me a couple great ideas.

First, a table that promotes RP while allowing some laziness in RP at the same time.
100 ways pc's know each other. I am SO using this in my next campaign, whether I'm GMing or Playing, word to my players, be aware.

Then! there was
"Roll on this table on what to Blog about."
So, I busted out the d10 AND . . . .

5--Write up a monster/trap combination. Neither the monster nor the trap must be original, but the combo must be interesting.

Alright then, my favorite trap, is more of a puzzle, it's an invisible wall of force that bisects a room, that STARTS two feet off the ground, and stops at six feet off the ground. The trick is that you have to describe it to the group correctly to lead them into thinking its a solid, floor to roof, wall while not blatantly lying to them. Perhaps, asking for high DC Int checks to notice they hit their shins but didn't stub their toes if they start to get stumped.

One of the creatures that most amuse me is the Cockatrice, since -I- first encountered it in the epic nine month campaign where this blog's namesake took place.

SO, the combo I have, is to have a room in a dungeon/castle/twisted-Femme-Mastermind-with-strange-tastes' Estate, where the characters enter it, and:

See - The room is divided in half by a low (3 ft high) fence made of sturdy wood & chicken wire. On the opposite side of the room, behind the fencing is a disgusting looking rooster which glares at you menacingly.

And of course, the above mentioned wall is right in front of the fence, between the chicken pen and the players.

Hilarity ensues.

I think in the future I might use this table again as it has multiple uses and I often feel I have a hard time finding segues into table Top RPG posts, Thank you Zak.

MOM! The Game Wont Let Me Play the Way I Want

Imma talk about some bullshit!

World of Warcraft: wait, don't get ahead of me, let me tell you.

Oh yeah, spoilers, yadda yadda, duh, get over it.

In Hyjal, at least twice, I was seriously annoyed. You're supposed to talk to this satyr who's been chained up for a few centuries and be like "nice Mr. evil man, I know your evil, but the twilight dudes gonna destroy the world, help please?" Im okay with that, sure, redeem people whateva. Then he's like "get me this stuff noob for no good reason." and my bullshit alarm goes off in my head, but fine, I gather this crap for him, and what happens?! exactly what you'd expect, the mats set him free and he cackles, now there's another boss in the new raid, I don't know this for sure, but that's the impression I get.

Then! I encounter this ancient who's on fire, he's all emo and shit cause he's a tree . . . on fire, I understand, but I kill the mobs attacking him an d I'm also a FROST MAGE!!! Fire? I fuck fire for breakfast. Yes, I said that. I'm standing there like, "Dude, Mr. McBranchhands, i got this," but NOOOOO, he's like, "take this seed it is the life giver," or some druidic shit like that, and I'm all bummed now. Thanks.

Fable III:

This is some bullshit in this game. At least in two everyone died in a way you had no control over, and the only complaint I had was the inability to kill reaver even though he totally deserved it. In three, everyone dies right in front of you and you cant stop it because its stupid cutscene bullshit. First there's that stupid choice between the citizens and your girlfriend and I'm all like "where's the option to stab my brother and become king?" but no. Then, I accidentally hit the fat noble trying to restore the bridge to the gypsy camp form two. I was down, I made the donation, accidentally had safe off and hit him, guard stopped me, I paid the fine, and then I tried to interact with tubby to play patty-cake with him, maybe dance, make him fell better, but no. no interaction option with Sir Lardo Funnybritches. THEN, the reaver event pissed me off to no end, but I'm like "my character doesn't know, whatever."

Then! They kill Mr. Mustache. My favorite character in the whole game except for Jasper (who they better not kill cause he's John Cleese and in the Sanctuary) gets fuckin shot in the head right in front of me public execution style, no attempts to rescue, stop or even acknowledge that this is not something my character would suffer easily. LAME!

And of course, shortly thereafter. Walter in the pit of stupid shadow doom where magic is not acknowledged except for the stupid shadow pit thing. I would NEVER have left Walter there, I would have fireman carried his chubby ass all the way across that desert, corpse or not.

So there.

Memeorable - Meme-ar-pee-gee

Many of us are gamers. Even fewer, are Table-Top gamers. It takes a special breed of nerd to partake of the truly . . . unique experience that is assembling like minded individuals for a session of shared imagining.

A skit by the Dead Alewives has had a massive resonance with my own personal experience and I think I could venture to assume it has impacted others who have come before me and those who shall come after.

HERE is the audio file, but I recommend watching both of the videos below.






AND, the less known, but, in my opinion, just as accurate and amusing SECOND SKIT. Stick it in your ear hole while shoving cheetos in your Mt. Dew hole!

H
O
L
E
!!!

You actually WANTED to play!?

I lovingly follow Playing D&D With Porn Stars (don't worry about that adult warning, it's very much like mine, "just in case") and I Hit It With My Axe. Recently Zak posed a certain question which raised my eyebrows and maybe something else. So I mulled it over while I searched for more similar photos, for research, of course.

One of my theories include, either these girls were hanging out with a certain type of guy. Proto-geeks, I guess I would call them. I was friends with a few and they could hide their nerd well when called for. they were on the varsity football team, they got horrible grades, one even went on a family hunting vacation every year and missed a month of school in order to kill things. BUT! they were my best friends through jr. high and early high school. they loved video games, had a good internet understanding and we played D&D, religiously. I've met a few guys who I think they turned into after high school/college and they're not particularly charming, nor do they outwardly display their nerdery as it would single them out as week and un-manly. I have also encountered the smokin hot chicks they attract and associate with, who . . big surprise, could, would and SHOULD be openly fantastically geeky. They are attracted to "jerks" which, oooh boy, we were, and then when confronted with a female either they hid the fact that there was a nerdy bone in their body in order to GET that nerdy bone in her body, OR, the female would snort, deride, or be passive about her request to play, being constantly socially aware of how she is perceived as a female in jr./sr. high and heaven forbid, the burping grunting drooling geek boys before her should think less or little of her for wanting to play a "boy's game." The question might sound something like "Really? Elves and dragons and trolls? Weird(potential code for wrong or stupid). How does that work?" Which translates to "that looks like fun, can I play?" But the boy's hear, "Your game is weird, tell me more so I can make fun of you and not have sex with you ever, and tell other girls to never have sex with you and tell the whole world (all two dozen people we know) how big of a retard you are (yes, retard, because we are all that mean we just learn to curb it, most of us.) The answer is would be something along the lines of "Here's the book," or maybe even "here, let me roll you a character" and then I know in our case her first and only session involves, "you see an elven female, wearing a cloak, boots, a sword and a smile," and the DM promptly gets slapped on the arm and she leaves.

That went off on a good tangent, not sure if it helped. The jist of it was, some of these guys were jerks and become bigger jerks and certain females are attracted to that much "confidence." Although I'm mostly speculating because I only knew two girls who had the slightest interest in participating, and I dated both of them. One moved 3 hours away and my friends didn't like her, and the other, we didn't hang out after we broke up and she had a different agenda in high school.

An actual scenario posited by Theatreg33k is that when they actually attempt to play they are left to their own devices much like guys do with guys, and if you ask for help more than three or four times OR you ask something more complex than "which die is that" the guys get frustrated and then she gets upset and then nobody had fun. I have done this myself, I feel like the biggest jerk ever, I say it's because I know how smart I believe she is and this is why I cant GM, group/raid lead in wow or watch her play video games. She also comments on how a girl changes the dynamic drastically. And it's not just girls, others have talked about, and I will probably too at some point, how one person can change a social situation by miles, doesn't matter. But specifically, dude's don't always know how to conduct themselves around a female friend or even one of their significant others and the "dick joke quota" drops drastically. Amazing insight, I know.

Let me get back to the original question, why would teenage boys say no to a teenage girl? More specifically, why they wouldn't let her play. It ties into the jerk complex above, where the girl just isn't invited. Or maybe adding a new player in the middle of a game who doesn't know the system at all can be a pain.

Oh teenage psycho-emotional issues, how you plague our lives. Remember guys, don't deny you want to have sex with your friend, just don't tell her every hour, and try to be friends with her first. If she wants to make out with you, it will probably happen. Unless she's an anime kid, then you have more problems, BUT fix them by watching anime.

Memeorables - MemeWoW 1

World of Warcraft: I am seriously addicted. If you didn't already know.

So, while I am STILL Working on S.G.I.S.Con IV postings, Here are just a few of the Video's that have influenced my Wow, Gaming, geek state of existence.

LEEEEEERROOYYY!!!!! JENKINS!

The battle cry heard over teamspeak for almost half a decade now. There is debate over how staged this was and "Leeroy" has become a pseudo-star-nerd but we've all been in this group, sometimes we're even Leeroy himself, and any time you inspire a CCG card and an achievement in the game itself, I'm sure you've cemented your place in WoW History.

WHAT!!??! TEH ! FAAHHHKK!!!???!?!?!?

Another video that gave me my first glimpse of high end content, Onyxia Raid Wipe on Vent. I have since been in many raidsand killed Ony a few times, and although I've never had a raid leader on vent melt down like this one, I think all WoWers can understand the frustration and rage. We may laugh, but a little part of our souls feel pain and anguish for this accented raider. Lets listen in, shall we?

WOOOO!!!! YEAAAHHH!!! IMMA WAND YOUUUU!!!

Lastly, a more recent video, I have since adapted this as my go to any time I have questions about rotation, technique or proper obscenities to use in vent.