Do You Even Cut, Bro!?

Even though the Blade Shop is no more, it lives on in our hearts, and SWORDS!
So, not only did I need some video of cutting & cheap sword breaking for my Fanime Panel, some of the A.G. Crew (some fave customers included) got together for Cut testing & destroying things!

It was VERY chill sort of munchies and BS fest. We talked of Mall Ninjas* and Bad Unicorns** we'd encountered since our last encounters. Spencer of course dropped a wonderful gem on us, paraphrasing the ridiculous "Do you even lift, Bro?" into a version much more suited for us . . . "Do you even Cut, Bro!?"
and yes, yes we do.

When we got to the part where we were going to break the cheap sword we got all worked up and ready to snap that bad boy . . . and then we had a serious Mythbusters moment where something totally unexpected and awesome happened.

Of course, all those awesome signs we printed over the years for the store and various cons, most of them were printed on one particularly insufferable piece of shit. And finally, our revenge was extracted upon it on that day. Cue ridiculously over-violent rap music (a la Office Space)

Unfortunately the vid wouldn't load of us destroying the printer, maybe to big, I dunno. Might find it later somewhere.

It was a good day (Ice Cube style).
And we plan to do it again before too long as we still have a LOT of tatami mats left over.

*Mall Ninja: (Short version) Someone who has all the tactical apparel and gear, and acts & talks like they've been in the Navy Seals when in fact they were never even in Boy Scouts and odds are they've never even been camping. (Long Answer, honestly, allow for a good, half hour/hour? to read the whole thing. Even if you don't understand the jargon, the good parts are easy enough to understand what's going on)

**Bad Unicorn: Something or someone you always though was funny yet terrible but never though you would ever actually see, like a Mall Ninja, or a person(s) dumb enough to try those horrible sex positions people joke about, or anyone who honestly BELIEVES (not "uses the philosophy in a reasonable manner to live their lives") a certain sci-fi movie or it's content is real (Like believing that we live in The Matrix and that they can Wake Up or something like that). It has been decreed that a "bad unicorn" has a disgusting dildo for a horn, is tattered and diseased like a bad WoW undead horse, and has a cutie mark MLP style that is a dick & balls.

Shopping & Some Guidelines

MRE's!! "Meals Rejected by Ethiopians?" Yup. "But why, h47, why? Didn't you get a ton of fast food gift cards for Christmas? Don't you have a job so you can buy food?" Supposedly, but I was gonna be in SoCal, and as it so happened, getting thrashed about for 8 hours plus everyday, as well as starting at the grossly (to me) early hour of 8:30 AM can really restrict your ability to pop out and grab a bite when you have NO IDEA whats around and are tired enough to go to bed at 8 pm.
So! In my planning, I had no idea how much spare cash I would have, nor what food options there would be, and I have been brainstorming new ideas for Con foodstuffs as well and came back to all my old scout/JROTC/camp days and remembered these meals in bags that "don't go bad." Shortly thereafter, my research began!

I highly recommend MRE Depot (as of this posting, the site seems to be down but it's often one of the first hits on Google, even on multiple test searches from other boxes) as a resource as well as the wiki. And, if you don't have a friend in the military who's willing to buy a bunch at their commissary/PX/BX/NEX/whateva it's called, or if you don't wish to brave the questionably legal and safe Ebay auctions, there are many civilian options that are almost exactly identical. I was lucky enough to catch a Knapp on his way home and he supplied me with a batch, BUT if your in SJ and need some E-prep meals, there is a couple resources.

Steven's Creek Surplus $104 (taxes?) No shipping. local business, please buy there as they have a bunch of stuff I'm not entirely sure where else to get them for less than "custom" prices. Specifically, good boots, dickies gear AND . . . . . HATS! That's right, fuckin "mad hatter" style top hats for like, 30-60 bucks, I almost bought one then and there, but I'm waiting till the end of Jan for my B-day to go by in case I get some extra cash.

In semi-related "grr, me man, me like smash & survival" news, I also want a Strider knife. Specifically an XL AND a PT. An XL (which are "custom only" effectively) because I have an obsession with HUGE blades, I mean, have you read this post?

I want the PT  . . .

For more pics clicky!

 so I know I have a knife that's okay anywhere and everywhere no matter what I'm doing.*

*Reference: I am NOT a lawyer nor do I pretend to give advice when it comes to legal matters, but what I HAVE FOUND, FOR MYSELF, in my own research into knife laws & regulations is that there is no length limit in California for fixed blades or folders, BUT many counties, and sometimes cities, have specific situational limits, and most of them seem to bottom out at the 3inch length limit for folders. Hence, my desire for a small pocket knife that I KNOW I can brutalize that is still very awesome.
If you think this information is incorrect, I don't care, write about it on your blog, I don't want this to be a debate about blade regulations, I'm simply laying out these guidelines that I follow and that give me an excuse to buy more knives, heh.

A Tale of Two Burritozilla's

How does your gaming crew end a campaign? Ours does it with booze, Epic Meal Time homage's, Huge Fuckin' Blades & Huge Fuckin' Burritos.

Birth is a beautiful, yet terrifying thing.

"Oh nos! We just fought a dragon shaman who may or may not have been epic level and NOW there's a size category HUGE green dragon barreling down on us as we sit like hors d'oeuvres on a plate on top of a temple." No, bitch! My group says BRING IT!!1! We're eating 17' death rolls of Mexican goodness then pouring poison into our gullet holes while we FUCK THAT DRAGON! No shit, the dwarf just made a grapple check, now he's rolling to control the pin.

"Let's go to Work."

Before we get (yes, I'm going to say it) ROLLIN' we have to divy up this mass of meat, beans, rice, awesome, sauce & tortilla so that all may partake of the madness. "But h4773r? Are you gonna use one of those little Bitch Kitchen knives? That would take forever." FUCK NO! I use Aniki, the beast from the far east, the edge from the edge of the world, my Kanetsune.

Luh-Ike! BUHTTUH! I came a little. I wont lie about that. And yes, that is a wooden battle board with scorch marks for the grid. Ti Slut did that up nice just for our group.

"But where will you cut it? That's not your table and you don't want to get 'zilla juices all over the floor? Are you going to go outside?" FUCK NO! This is D&D right? We use the fucking metal-ass battle board to slice these vessels of sustenance, then we use it for tactical visualization, like a Boss.

Aniki, Drippin', not ready to take his tip out of the battle board. Burritozilla, divided. Was it good for you?

And so, as the sounds of gnashing nerds and guzzling geeks echo against the walls of our dining area, shit is being bulled. My compatriots enjoy their last moments as living characters before I destroy them with emerald, winged, acid breathing death. On film, for your consideration.

Perhaps the camera man (RunningRyan) and myself will make a transcript and post it so you can hear my witty ass remarks. Probably not though, as you should just watch it 3 times like I did.
And guess what? We did it again last week, only it got crazyer, with more video, and hopefully better quality. Tune in!

A House Rule for Life

Of course I begin this post with a nerdy tangent to talk about something slightly less recognizable as geeky, but I assure you, knife nuts can be VERY nerdy.

In most of my RPG groups, we have a house rule that if any of your items are +3 or better, they should be named. Favorite results include the shocking, returning +2 boomerang dubbed "Stunbob the Stop Stick" and the +3 seeking frost Heavy Crossbow simply named "Angus."

So, in a very similar fashion, I name many "important" items in my life, no few of which are my knives. I think we all know where this is going. Lets jump in, shall we?

Name: Three
Make & Model: Benchmade, McHenry & Williams, 710SBKD2
Specs: G-10 handle scales, Axis Lock, D2 blade, powder coat & Partial serration, drop point blade geometry, roughly 3.9 inch blade, swappable clip.
Carry condition: EDC-Heavy Use

This bad boy was my first SERIOUS high end knife. I was originally looking to snag a Spyderco Native, but instead opted for a big upgrade and was seriously lured by the Benchmade Axis Lock. It was my ONLY EDC for almost 3 years until I started to acquired more blades. I named it "Three" from a Monty Python: Holy Grail gag, where "Three shall be the number of the counting, and the number to be counted to shall be, three. No more, no less. Three." I use this joke because, as a pocket knife, as a cutting tool, for versatility and utility, the 710SBKD2 is everything a pocket knife needs to be; crazy good edge retention, serration, black blade, super strong/one handed open & close lock and super durable/strong/simple handle.


Name: Aniki
Make & Model: Kanetsune CW-6 "Beauty*" or "Dragon*" *(Still not confirmed)
Specs: Made by Hitachi in Japan, 14-15 layers of "White" or Blue" Steel in Green Paper technique. Laquered Oak Hnadle. Full tang, and a 27cm blade. Also, a sexy wood sheath with leather & buckle clasps. Check that thing out.
Carry condition: At work when I'm wearing a tie, striking sets after shows & special occasions.

This big ol' Island beast is a unique piece, and as of this post, I am confident one of TWO in the entire United States. I can not find ANYTHING on it on the internet that's not on a Japanese, Chinese or Russian site. Apparently the manufacturer that crafted this fine "ken" normally only makes blades 6" or smaller which makes it even more rare. As it is I have TWO Japanese majors working on translating the various Katakana found along the blade, the box, the pamphlet it came with and even the catalog my store ordered it from as there is virtually NO ENGLISH associated with this knife. As for how I dubbed this short sword, if you watched Gurren Lagann Subbed, then I think you might get the reference. I wrestled wiht this partivular name for a while, trying to think up clever things, but ultimately I wanted something with a nod to it's heritage. I went with some goofier ideas like "Ken (Blade)" or "Dai (Great) Ken" but since I liked the idea of it being something great, with mighty soul, that I could rely on when I needed something exceptional and elegant, I went with "Aniki (Big brother)." With this knife I can Peirce the Heavens!





Name: Big Chief Broom Bromden (or any variation thereof, usually "Chief Bromden")
Make & Model: Columbia River Knife & Tool 8102 "Tighe Tac"
Specs: 3+" Aus-6 blade, stainless bolster & Liner lock. Zytel handle scales. unique flat cap thumb stud and cross pattern carry clip.
Carry condition: EDC-"Sheeple knife"

This slab of class was a gift from a fantastic gentleman who's a friend of the shop. It is a discontinued model and therefore slightly more collectable. Due to all the stainless internals it has a really nice heft to it and something else I'm not used to, the clip is tip down which is new to me and I am having issues adjusting. As for his moniker, I always told myself, that if I acquired a blade from CRKT (pronounce as initials, most knife people I know snicker if you call them "Cricket") I would name it after the central character from Ken Kesey's novel. I think it's fitting. He's a big brute, but conducts himself as one much smaller and gentler, quiet and nonthreatening, unless moved to action. Taking comfort in menial tasks but capable of great feats of strength. "You're gonna make it out there, Chief."


Name: Solstice
Make & Model: Spyderco C123TIP "Sage 2"
Specs: CPMS30V Steel with ambidextrous thumb hole. Titanium frame lock. Modular wire pocket clip.
Carry condition: EDC-Medium Use/"Sheeple knife," Special occasions
This clean, classy little carver is like having two companies in one knife. The Sage line currently has 3 models, each one is a nod to a different innovator in the blade industry. The Sage 2 is a salute to Chris Reeve and his fantastic simplicity of "Ti Frame lock & S30V" and it's versatility. It gained its name thanks to a certain youtube review I have mentioned previously, and since it cancels Christmas, I am left with Winter Solstice. I suppose if I come to own other sages they would in turn be named Kwanza & Chanukah.



Name: Sir Patrick Stewart
Make & Model: William Henry B10 TZ "Lancet"
Specs: Anodized detail Titanium handle and modular clip. Sapphire Gem Button lock. Coated ZDP-189 blade. Sapphire gem thumb stud. #106 of 500 ever.
Carry condition: EDC-"Sheeple Knife," Special occasions
Much like his namesake, not EVERYBODY has heard of him, but as soon as you begin to describe him, his accolades and capabilities, it becomes apparent he possess a fantastic character and fiber. From a company more commonly found in jewelry shops this well dressed tool delivers. I have used this exact knife to help me set up our Wondercon Booth and he performed admirably, or should I say "Captainly" or even "Knightly?" Honestly though, the real Sir Patrick Stewart was made a Knight Bachelor shortly after I gained this knife, so he was prevalent in the media, and I also look up to Sir Stewart as an inspiration as a storyteller and actor. So "Although he may not be the best for a particular job, Sir Patrick Stewart is acceptable in every situation."




Name: Patrol Leader
Make & Model: Benchmade 610SBK "Ruckus"
Specs: Powder coat with partial serration. 4.25" S30V blade steel. Axis lock. G10 bolster. Micarta handle scales.
Carry condition: EDC-Heavy Use
This beefy folder is one of my few "Grail" knives as I fell in love with it my first month with my store. At the end of that year it was discontinued and I wondered if I would ever have a chance to grab one again. Thanks to the many collectors I know at the shop, one was found and I jumped at it. As I've said to many people, it sings to the Boy Scout in me and when I began to ponder what to call it, the name had already been given to itself. I also found Benchmade made replacemnt handle scales in various materials and colors, and well, we all know chicks dig case mods (and nerds love customization gimmicks). So I ordered them (some of the last in Benchmade's inventory, SCORE) and now have different "uniforms" for PL. His stock scales, the micarta are his "BDU's (Battel Dress Uniform)" or normal outdoor gear.
"Class A Uniform" is the snazziest handle scales, as they are carbon fiber. Subtle, understated and high quality apparel.
"Blacks" for STEALTH MISSIONS! Or if I want it to match Three, OR if I want black on black awesomeness, I have normal black G-10 scales.
This is Patrol Leaders "Winewood Camo" and it is pretty. When I first put it on I made the joke that if I were to stick it in a tree he would say "Um . . . I'm a branch, you can't see me!" And I liked that joke, so I'm sticking with it.
Although I have dubbed this one "Class B Uniform" I must admit it's one of the cleaner, dressed up looking presentations. Silver G-10 scales give it an almost tuxedo appearance. Daddy likes.
And of course, one for, THE LADIES! I figured, if you do an apparel shoot with this much sexy, you should do a nude shoot as well, if the model is comfortable with it, of course. And oh boy was he. Even without the scales, the Ruckus is built so well that you could use it in this skeletal state (with some care taken, of course).

For those of you who got this far and wonder at some of the terminology I used, it's either "just me" or, some of it is knife jargon.
"Sheeple knife" - A knife that is socially acceptable in mixed company and most situations.
"Grail knife" - fairly self explanatory, an item one is constantly seeking.
EDC - Every Day Carry
Zytel - a glass filled polymer commonly used as the industry standard in handle materials in high end knives
G10 - inter-woven fiber glass bathed in epoxy resin. Stupid awesome durable, nigh indestructible. a favorite for hardcore knife handles.
Micarta - Very similar to G10, instead of Carbon fiber linen is most often used. Other weaves include paper or burlap. As a result of the more fibrous base components they often become tacky when moist and allow for better grip. The durability is almost on par and much more supple to the touch.
Different numbers and letter combinations in relation to the blade steel are the steel codes and should be researched separately as they are greatly varied and diverse. I have said before "There are as many steels as there are types of bugs in the world, good luck learning them all."

And, as an added Joke for some of my fellow McHenry and Williams fans, I decided to post this one a little late in the eve. I'm holding mine, are you?

A Blaze of Glory

So, I sat and stared at the "New Post" template for about 48 minutes and could not come up with ANYTHING I wanted to get into. As well as Tosh.0 playing in the background makes for a serious distraction. HOWEVER, it did give me an idea for a post. For many of my dedicated readers/stalkers/peopleIknowIRL this will not be knew, however, I do feel this video has a sense of humor that sings to me and I strongly believe in the values it espouses. If you're in my shop and hear one of us yell "Kansul Krizmus!" or "Get yourself a Spyderco Saaage" now you will get the joke. Enjoy.



Thanks to the Cajun Blaze for being his awesome southern self.