Wednesday, December 30, 2009

How to Make Twilight Better

I have said on numerous occasions that the Twilight universe would be so much better if you took out Bella and Edward. I'll even settle for just Bella. Keep her dad, her mom even (she doesn't do much) and the high school "friends" but just drop the lead chick.

Honestly, I think even Edward would be a totally cool, mind-readin, twinkly-ass heart throb if he wasn't hung up on emo-tween-wench. (Don't get me wrong, I like emo's, they're cool, but Bella is one emotional chick.)

What happens to the story without Bella then? Don't worry, I thought about that. Edward, suddenly falls for Jacob. (stay with me, or not, I warned you long ago) Now THAT is some hot supernatural on supernatural action. Not only do you pull in those who like the pasty, affluent type, those who like the tan, outdoorsy cultural type, you get those who are hot for supernaturals and even the furry element. Aint seen Romeo and Juliet till you've seen this story, no? And Underworld KIND OF did this, but my version is better because both of them know what they are, what the consequences are, but their man/wolf/bloodsucker/gay/nibble/suck/love can not be stopped.

This reminds me of something that came up while I was loitering in the Green Room at the institution of learning I attend. There was a stray cosmo magazine cluttering up our discarded fliers, posters. and Peanuts (a restaurant) food cartons. So, one of my male associates bravely dared to crack it open. Within we found horrible and wondrous things. Among them included a "erotic story for true ladies." (I'm not making this shit up.) It involved some chick who worked in an office with problems with a male co-worker and a guy doing an interview of her at a "dinner meeting." The only reason I recall all of this is because we actually read a fair amount of the story, AFTER implementing some simple rules. Replace all men names with female names, and all "he"/"him"/"his" with female pronouns. The resulting story was much more . . . stimulating. And akward after much giggling.


Edna & Jackie? Yeah? Forbidden lovers? THATS some romeo and juliet action, more like ROMIE and Juliet, awe yeah.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

S.G.I.S.Con 4 update 1

People have already started registering for Sad Geek In Snow Con IV!
Space is limited in the Cabin, please contact me so we can get your payment dealt with.

Core registration will end January 11th!, After that, the price goes up to $30/whatever embarrassment or derision we decide to inflict upon you for making
things suck. Please keep our suck to a minimum.

If you need transportation, or are willing to supply it, also contact us as soon as possible. seats in the Shenanivan are already being claimed and we don't yet have other large vehicle conveyances. Be aware.

H47 Really Does Exist

Due to those pesky "Real Life," or RL, concerns, such as School, employment, employment projects and people dying(Yeah, somebody died unexpectedly. we're all okay, thanks for your thoughts &/or prayers, OR NOT, it's cool. but yeah) I have been lax in my bloggering. . . blagedness . . . blogeren-ning?

Worry not! Once the Seasonmas Wintoliday's have passed around our fetid carbon pile once more I should have some more time to dedicate to slathering the intartubes with my depraved obscenities.

I have a few things in store. Like what? you may ask?

"Mercutio Complex"

"Sexy Ideas"

"Geek of a Certain stripe"

and, MORE MEME-ORABLES!! many of which will be WoW-centric. WOOHOO!!

Stay tuned!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

3rd 4 t3h nrrd, Dec. '09

I know, it's not the 3rd. Get over it. moving on . . . .

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, the King of Nerdcore, an innovator in NerdRap, YTCracker!

This pale poet is among the most hard of the nerdcore element. Actually prosecuted for hacking crimes, he is a true Digital Gangster.
For detailed accounts you can go here, heyer, and NYAH!

Musically, YT is a rapper extraordinaire. A very -true- rapper, his content is always straight forward and practical. The subjects are just as telling about his life and times as mainstream artists, they just happen to be from a very nerdy G. While more well known performers will speak about tough times on the streets and their illicit activities, YTCracker has just as many songs about his hacking days, his struggles as a musician and is a prolific member of SpamTec Crew.

His samples and beats are excellently crafted. Whether producing original loops, borrowing from police station sound files, or Pirating from well known entertainment (turn this one up LOUD, i roll to this ALL the time) houses, the sounds slam you hard, and keep thumping till you can't take anymore.

As a wordsmith, he holds it down with a practiced and confident flow. I don't often hear anything overly complicated or lighting fast, but I don't think he needs to spaz through a song to keep it going. I believe he has an excellent sense of timing, pitch, and tune, and the songs are sick every time.

Currently he has been touring nationwide with MC Lars and Kay Flay, and is always producing more content.

Here's to YTCracker, stay l337, please don't hack me!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

2 pigs, 2 families, 1 rock, 1 boat, 7 days, 1 question, & 1 BIG ANSWER!

And that's not even the half of it.

At some point during summer '08 a conversation consisting of T1nk/theatreg33k saying "You know, we don't have to get married very soon, but an extended engagement might be nice."

I let these words ferment, stew, roll around, and otherwise haunt me for about a month until in September of the same year I resolved to ask the big question.

Now, not many people may realize, that there are certain institutions and traditions that I think should be approached with utmost sincerity. In short, I aint fuckin around at this point.

Early October we went to Blizzcon and it was there that I threw down the idea to some trusted confederates and began researching ideas for where and how I would Take A Knee.
In case you missed it, Blizzcon '08 was held in Anaheim, which is conspicuously close to Disneyland and we spent quite a bit of time there that weekend. I had heard about the "free B-day pass" promo that year and a plan began to formulate, grow, nay, INFEST my brain.

So, as of mid-October, Thee Plan, was to propose as we got off the jungle cruise ride with all friends and family I could finagle into coming as witnesses. This all under the guise of a "Big B-day week" because she was turning *incoherent mumbling of an age between 15 and 200 years old* and I usually have a big weekend party for my own birthday. It was only fair. This was the story I kept telling close friends so that on the off chance I had to call it off they would be understanding. Yet, telling people made me feel it was doable, and it gave me some time to hear it out loud and really consider if it was the step I wanted to take.
Fast forward to late November, I started saving up a chunk of cash, and committed to calling The Mouse and seeing if he could "huho" hook me up.

First, I had to do it up all proper, I asked her folks if I could take them out to dinner for a "Christmas Present" and ask for their blessing. They said yes. I then called my folks to see if they approved, they did. Parents averted!
I then started telling MORE people because it was kind of awesome. Finally in February '09 I called Disneyland. IT WAS GREAT! The people at the park were totally cool and ready to help however I needed. Next thing I knew, I had a private boat on the jungle cruise set up, a section reserved for our family for lunch at one of the restaurants and Dinner at the Blue Bayou for later.
"Dude H47? how much did you throw down for all the special services?" Not a cent! We even got one of our old college friends who works there part time, to be the skipper of our boat. (Did I mention our Friend is a big time Hollywood Voice Actress? If you need an awesome voice let her know . . )

So, as of February, the plan was get our crew on the boat, get to the backside of water, drop to the knee, Bob's your uncle, we're engaged! I drag T1nk to the Blue Bayou, I'm awesome, Disney Land IS the happiest place on earth (unless you're a small child between the hours of 3 &5 pm, cause that shit is nap time.)

I get the ring from Shane Co., I get it "future Maid of Honor" approved, I'm showing it off to everybody, telling everybody the scheme, this thing is getting big. I keep the ring hidden in my Special Edition Burning Crusade box, the big ass one? fit perfect. it was creepy.

At some point T1nk's Manager decided to be cheeky and say "hey, wanna know what hes getting you for your birthday? . . . Pot Belied Pig." Even more horrifying was T1nk's reply, "Awesome! They're so CUTE!"
What else could I do? I verified. "Yeah, the trouble is gonna be sneaking it in to the park as a "seeing eye pig."
She wanted to name the fictitious pig Wilbur, I suggested AndEggs. Later that same week, we were out at a bar with a bunch of other friends, I was recounting the story so far and somehow it became TWO pigs.
Now I've got my friends harboring pork at various locations so as to keep T1nk off the trail. I know, we're so clever.

At some point I asked T1nk what she thought it really was, and she guessed it BUT she was like "but I don't want to think that's what it is in case it's not." So, this wont be a huge surprise apparently, but it still was, just watch.

The week of her B-day rolls around and it's time to get to Anaheim. I have the stinkin thing hidden in a compartment in the Shenani-Van, praying she doesn't decide to look for the roadside kit. (what?! I'm paranoid.) We get to the hotel and a week of vacation starts off without a hitch.
(I love to stand in front of the train station and look out upon the park. Very nostalgia/inspiring/romantic[not in the sexy sense, as in the movement])

The day came for it all to be set up. The jungle crew knew what time we we're supposed to be there, private boat and all. we had a section of one of the restaurants all reserved for our group for lunch before hand. We got a birthday gift card for T1nk (you had an option of three items for b-day, it was cool) and I was like, Until noon, its all you! We rode some rides, ate, and we hit the jungle cruise at 3pm! The total group was my mom, my g-ma, my sister, my cousin, her mom, her dad, our friends Epyon Avenger, The Blave and two of his female friends, PievuhG, L1 and L2, with Voice Actress as our skipper. Apparently there was a boat mishap and Voice Actress had to hijack a boat that wasn't hers (we're so pirates) and off we steamed/motored/rolled. Voice Actress laid down a great string of horrible jokes that the ride is famous for, we get to the back of the waterfall, and she says "and now, the moment "H4773r" has been waiting for (all his life? i dont remember exactly, cut me some slack, I was stressing soooo hard right then.)" I dropped to my knee, pulled the box, T1nk was like "WTF" then I asked . . . .

(Video border in "obnoxious-puke green" in T1nks honor)

The boat took off again, cheering and incoherent congratulations accompanied us to the dock, Voice Actress valiantly tried to lay her best jokes on us for the end of the voyage and we disembarked.

Pics were taken in a very convenient alcove I had not noticed till then, and PievuhG had a special gift for us . . .

T1nk and I split off from the group to giver her some time to recover form
the shock, text/tweet everyone we knew what had happened. We wandered
over to the Blue Bayou in time for our dinner, and did whatever she
wanted the rest of the trip.

Once more, I'd like to thank all our family and friends for helping me make
this happen and for all of your support. We will be setting the date
for the big day on T1nk's NEXT birthday, and it will most likely be a
year-2 years from then.

Friday, December 4, 2009


Taking a short break from academics to recharge metal batteries, my usual net trolling has dredged some fantastic things I wish to present here.

Thanks to the people I follow on Twitter (like The Front), Topless Robot (a wonderfully geeky blog with outrageously constant content), as well as a few other places I've seen them linked and referenced.

dude, for reals, this looks cool. I'm not entirely sure it has the potential for longevity, but the hook is clean, the ideas look concise. watch it, please.

SLINGERS from Mike Sizemore on Vimeo.

Panic Attack
(yet another -in developement- video. So, why some superior race/alien force, would attack some South American city, that may or may not pass a as a regional capitol, is the only question that haunts me, but other than that. very cool. stick it in your eye hole)

The ONLY Team Edward for me.
A while back Battle Star Galactica was having some sort of contest to have dinner with him and one of the ladies from the show, or some such. I wanted to enter, but the whole time I'd be like "Oh, ma'am, you look pretty. *rapid refocus on EJO* Dude, you were El Pachuco, and 'chemo.' You are my ethnic/proffesional hero. teach me your SECRATS!!!"

And last but not least. Remember to educate your elders and less-tech-savy members of your family on what things are and how they work . . . or else . . . .

And crap, half an hour later, I finish my 5 minute post. Maybe I should just sacrifice today and post 3rd nrrd, and a new Blog. hope this holds you over.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Geek of a Certain Stripe

I know in the past I have discussed the labels of Nerd, Dork, Geek, and even within those labels, which I have heard used interchangeably as well as set in stone definitions, there are many variations. I have tried my best to break down and define these for others as well as give concise addendum where necessary, and very rarely, I am asked, "what kind of Geek/Nerd are you?"

My usual short answer is a table top, gamer, fantasy - geek, and I think that is the type of nerdery that holds the most influence in my life, but like most things this is by no means the sum of all my HP.
I know many geeks who partake of SO MUCH more table top than I do, board game obsessed heathens, as well as, I am by no means a h4rdcore l337 e-p33n console gamer, and, ask me to rattle off more than 10 fantasy authors without using any from more than 50 years ago and I would be hard pressed (I'm working on it though).

By now you might think, "h47, WhereTF is this going?" well, it stems from a little blurb I wrote a while back as I was musing, as I am wont to do.

"I am an odd -geek/nerd- I'm a humanities Nerd, not a Science geek. I am very much an arts geek, not a "science is a verb" person. But I like to think I appreciate those beautiful mechanics, perfect complexities, are lovely too."

Maybe what this ramble is trying to go on about is not only what kind of geek I am not, but that even though all of us have some nerd proclivities, we need to remember that almost all nerdereys are valid, not just our own.
I think there is a definite reason I hear the term "nerdrage" bandied about so often as of late. We do get very worked up and angry, but we need to remember what is worth getting riled up for.
There are appropriate reasons to be passionate but remember to use some critical thinking, make sure your arguments are worth presenting, and then cohesive.

Sorry if this is a little heavy or muddled, I'm getting a headache and ready to call it a night. Don't Worry, a new 3rd 4 t3h NRRD is primed for Oct. and next week's post should be a lot more light hearted.
Stay Nerdy my Friends.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Regularly scheduled programing is interrupted for the next week or so, due to school. Maybe while I am at work I can get some blogging done, but as for right now, I apologize for the lull, but please feel free to read some of the old posts, I do try to make them relevant, regardless of time reference. See you on the flip side. I do have 2-3 regular Blog posts planned and as many Meme-orables, so there is content, just not finished. please feel free to comment or email if you NEED content, finished or no. Any sort of communication between myself, and you, the reader(all 8 of you) is appreciated (so far).